By Sarah Goldberg
[Warning: Spoilers ahead for those not up-to-date with Jane
the Virgin season 4]
In honor of Mother’s Day, I’m taking a moment to celebrate
my favorite mother-daughter duo on TV: Jane and Xiomara of the Jane the Virgin
(don’t worry, I also plan to celebrate the women in my own life!). A satirical
take an overly dramatic telenovela, the CW’s hit show follows the life of a
young woman who is accidentally artificially inseminated. Jane relies on her close-knit
family – namely her mom, Xiomara, and her abuela
– to advise her on childrearing, relationships, school and work while she
simultaneously deals with kidnappers, murderers, blackmailers and other
villains that soap opera dreams are made of. Though the show is perhaps best
known for not taking itself too seriously, the most recent season tackled Xiomara’s
breast cancer diagnosis – and the relationships between the family members – in
a raw, relatable way that deserves acknowledgement. A few takeaways from the
storyline:
People handle
information differently and the “right” choice isn’t the same for everyone
Xiomara, or Xo for short, understandably feels overwhelmed
when she receives a diagnosis of stage three invasive lobular carcinoma. Her
eyes glaze over as her doctor discusses treatment options, which include a
lumpectomy, single mastectomy or preventative double mastectomy. She panics as
she learns about drains and spacers and reconstruction options. Meanwhile, Jane takes copious notes, asks
questions of the doctors, and does her research. She feels strongly that Xo
should have a double mastectomy. Although the cancer is only in one breast, a
double mastectomy would reduce the chance of recurrence and Jane makes her opinion
known.
A genetic counselor
or other medical professional can provide much-needed guidance
Xo initially appeases Janes and agrees to have a double
mastectomy (over dinner, as she asks her family to pass the chicken breasts, no
less). Internally, Xiomara agonizes over the choices. How can she elect to remove
healthy tissue from her unaffected breast, she wonders? Unfortunately, Xo
doesn’t have a supportive doctor and there’s no genetic counselor, therapist or
medical professional to provide guidance and help her make an informed decision.
Cancer is a family
affair
As the family impatiently waits for Xo to choose a surgical
approach, anxiety grows and tempers flare. A mother-daughter day at the spa
ends with an outburst from Xiomara: “You and I have different relationships to
our bodies, Jane, and I don’t know if I want to have elective surgery for your peace
of mind.”
Cancer forces family members to re-examine their
relationships. Jane, who has always operated as the caretaker, recognizes that ultimately
the decision is not hers to make, and she needs to support her mom in the days
ahead. Xiomara, who has always turned to Jane first, realizes there are some
things better left to discuss with her new husband. (Rogelio, her high school
sweetheart with whom she recently reunited and the father of Jane, though
perhaps better known as a telenovela celebrity and for his outlandish Tweets.) The
breast cancer is not hereditary, yet it affects the whole family.
Physical changes have
emotional impact
Xiomara ultimately opts for a single mastectomy, a decision
she comes to after weighing options carefully. Xo understands that a mastectomy
will change her appearance, her body image that has long been a source of
confidence, and her sexual function. She turns to her husband to discuss how
this will impact their life together. Together they decide on a course of
action and Xo undergoes surgery – but not without a “bye bye boob” party for
them to pay tribute to Xo’s changing body.
The season ended with Xiomara navigating physical and
emotional changes that followed her surgery and, of course, a dramatic
cliffhanger. There’s a lot left to Xiomara’s story when Season 5 begins and I,
for one, cannot wait to watch.
This Mother’s Day, honor
the women in your life by sharing your own family stories and health
information. While talking about breast cancer or other conditions that may
affect the family isn’t easy, doing so can help you protect your health, your
mom’s health, and the health of the family. The Norton & Elaine Sarnoff
Center for Jewish Genetics offers tools to help you get started, and a genetic
counselor is also available to help community members identify additional resources as needed.